my stomach plummets three stories
below me
and that dizzy, sick, lost feeling
from way back when
is back
grown up me knows
it's all what's best
but the rest of me is never sure
logic's the safest bet
the acid memories fizzle to the surface
that I didn't know were there
treetops and sidewalks
ramen noodles on couches
they sing deafeningly,
"hey, remember that time?"
my everything fills full of nothingness
...and I am nothing in it.
you're doing great
but curiosity wins
and my heart breaks
For all these years,
I thought I was fine
that I was stable and strong
...Wrong.
sitting at the edge
surveying my mortality
I could care less
what they're thinking
the people
I've loved
the longest
don't have the grace
to trust
in me
feeling how I do
about you
I just wish
it were enough
for them-
knowing
that I know
you're the guy
for me
but it's not
and while I
survey
the fall below
I just hope everyone knows
you're IT-
what they talk
and dream
about
what they wish for
their whole lives
The One
I wonder
if you're lying
again
pretending
you do it
for my sake
will you ever learn?
you're right
truth breaks me down
it's painful
and cut's to the quick
but the lies-
nearly fatal
they're different
they
wear their
good-intention woven
disguises
they
parade about-
turning their faces
just as
I get a glimpse
but those disguises-
those good intentions
don't last
they burn and melt away
all at once
leaving
a horrible mess
in my heart
I feel sick about this
uneasy, afraid
I put on a brave face
force an awkward smile
and hope you can't see
through me
I never got it all off my chest
I tried
you didn't listen
again.
I shouldn't be bothered
I'm doing all right
in second place
but
he'll never have
your laugh
he'll never be
your brand of odd
So...
I miss you
and the trouble with missing
a guy like you
is
I'll always miss you
I've been missing you for years
somehow
more so
when we were together
it makes me sick
how can you be so distant
right in front of me
second place is painfully far
from first
